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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201356">vigil</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisela/pseuds/elisela'>elisela</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>serendipity [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Aphasia, Canon-Typical Violence, Coma, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Traumatic Brain Injury, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:27:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201356</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisela/pseuds/elisela</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They stare at each other for a moment, breath coming shallow as she reaches out for him, wrapping herself in his arms and burying her head in his chest. “They’ll be okay,” she says, her voice muffled. “The nurse said she was stable, they’ll be okay.”</p><p>Buck’s quiet against her. </p><p>She spends the night at Lena’s bedside, holding a book in one hand and her wife’s hand in the other, stroking her fingers across the soft inside of Lena’s wrist. She meets Buck in the hallway every hour, sharing soft words and reassuring touches, brushing his hair out of his eyes and the tears off his cheeks. </p><p>Lena wakes up in the morning. </p><p>Eddie does not.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ana Flores/Lena Bosko, Eddie Diaz &amp; Lena Bosko, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Ana Flores, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>serendipity [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>174</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>vigil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yeah, I just wanted more Ana/Lena okay? My life is now these four thank you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She meets him in the hallway, hands shaking, voice hushed. “How—”</p><p>“Is—”</p><p>They stare at each other for a moment, breath coming shallow as she reaches out for him, wrapping herself in his arms and burying her head in his chest. “They’ll be okay,” she says, her voice muffled. “The nurse said she was stable, they’ll be okay.”</p><p>Buck’s quiet against her. </p><p>She spends the night at Lena’s bedside, holding a book in one hand and her wife’s hand in the other, stroking her fingers across the soft inside of Lena’s wrist. She meets Buck in the hallway every hour, sharing soft words and reassuring touches, brushing his hair out of his eyes and the tears off his cheeks. </p><p>Lena wakes up in the morning. </p><p>Eddie does not. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Eddie?” Lena asks—or tries; a coughing fit overtakes her and Ana is up between one heartbeat and the next, rubbing her back soothingly while she shushes her. </p><p>“The nurse said you needed to stop trying to talk,” Ana says, reaching for the cup of water on the table. “The smoke inhalation—”</p><p>Somehow, Lena manages to cut her off with a look.</p><p>“Eddie’s down the hall,” she says soothingly. “He’s being looked after.”</p><p>Lena’s face falls. “Trapped. Couldn’t—”</p><p>“They’re taking care of him,” Ana says again. “He had surgery—stop trying to talk, sweetheart, please—he had swelling in his brain and they had to relieve the pressure, and you both had internal bleeding.” She leans down and kisses her cheek, rubbing her thumb over the scratches on Lena’s temple. “I love you.”</p><p>Lena squeezes her hand. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I just need a shower,” Buck says wearily. “Then I’m going right back.”</p><p>“Of course,” she says, and when he closes the bathroom door she opens the dresser drawers and tries to pick out things she’s seen him wearing, folding them up smaller and setting them inside her bag. She’s waiting on the couch when he comes out, looking small and broken-hearted with his wet hair plastered to his head. </p><p>“This isn’t the way to the hospital,” he says, and when she pulls into her own driveway, he sighs. “Ana, I need to go back, he could wake up.”</p><p>“His friends are there tonight, he won’t wake up alone,” she says gently. “He’ll need you rested, Buck.” </p><p>He follows her into the house and she hands out the clothes she’d grabbed for him, and after he’s changed into them, she pushes him into her bedroom. “I always knew you wanted to get me in bed,” he says, without any of his usual humor, and she shakes her head and pulls the blankets back.</p><p>Buck curls up on his side and she slides in next to him, wiggling her arm under his shoulder until his face is pressed into her neck, and his arm settles tentatively around her waist. “Get some rest,” she says quietly. “I’ll be here.” She runs her fingers through his hair, and doesn’t stop until long after his breathing evens out in sleep. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She spends her days in the hospital: holding onto Buck’s hand as he sits at Eddie’s side, reading out loud to Lena at night, playing Words With Friends with Christopher when he comes to visit, watching Buck become quieter and more withdrawn with each day that passes. </p><p>“It could take weeks,” the doctors say when they pull Buck out into the hallway. “There’s no way to know.”</p><p>“Read to him, play him his favorite music,” the nurses say, patting Buck on the shoulder. “Do your best to talk like he can hear you.”</p><p>“It’s my fault,” Lena whispers to her one night, head buried in Ana’s shoulder, tears rolling down her neck. “Coop told us to fall back but I thought I heard something—he went with me, Ana, I swear, if he doesn’t wake up—”</p><p>Buck follows her home that night; she cries in the shower, hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs, until her throat burns. He’s already asleep when she crawls into bed with him. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lena returns to work and visits from Eddie’s team drop off as shifts return to normal; Ana still spends her days at Eddie’s bedside, holding his hand when Buck disappears to talk to the doctors, taking over reading when Buck’s voice cracks, balancing her laptop on her knees when July rolls into August and she has to start getting ready for a new school year. She makes extra food for dinner and brings it in for Buck, drives Christopher to his abuela’s house when visiting hours are over, and runs herself into the ground with exhaustion, smiles at Lena and Buck and assures them it’s no trouble.</p><p>It could have been Lena, she thinks, over and over and over, holding tight to her in bed at night. It makes her desperate, makes her sick, makes her so incredibly grateful that it <em>wasn’t</em>, makes her choke on the flood of guilt that crashes over her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Buck is sitting on the floor outside Eddie’s room, shoulders shaking, hands pressed to his face, and Ana’s heart stops when she sees the empty room through the open door. She drops to her knees, wraps her hands around his wrists and pulls at his arms. “Honey, tell me,” she says, dreading the answer. “Buck—”</p><p>In the time it takes him to answer, she makes plans in her head. Someone will have to call Eddie’s family, they’ll need to schedule a counseling session for Christopher, she can talk administration and see if they’ll let her arrange time off for Buck, she has to tell Lena—</p><p>Oh, God. </p><p>She has to tell Lena. </p><p>“He opened his eyes,” Buck whispers. His voice shakes; it’s the first time he’s cried since they brought Eddie in five weeks ago. “They took him for a CT but he opened his eyes—he seemed confused but they said that was normal—he was trying to talk but nothing made sense—”</p><p>She pulls in a slow breath, willing her heart to calm. “But he’s awake,” she says, squeezing his hand. “That’s really great news, Buck.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eddie points to her as soon as she walks into the room, looking up at Buck with an urgent look on his face. “Ran the window to give,” he says, and Ana looks up at Buck, alarmed. </p><p>“It’s Ana,” Buck says, brushing Eddie’s hair back. “Remember her? She’s my best friend, we—”</p><p>Eddie jerks his head away and points at her again. “Need blanket to see,” he says, desperation in his tone, and when she comes closer, he grabs her hand and rocks her wedding ring back and forth with his thumb, then points to his chest. </p><p>Buck’s heartbreak is evident on his face. “Eddie,” he says, “Ana’s married to Lena, remember her? You work with her.”</p><p>Eddie looks so lost and confused that she has to take a deep breath to control the wave of grief that rises. “Maybe a picture would help,” she says. The doctor had warned them that Eddie would have difficulty understanding what they were saying, but she’d been so focused on keeping Buck from falling apart that she can’t remember the advice they’d given for communicating. She pulls out her phone and opens it to a recent picture of Lena in her work uniform and gives it to him. </p><p>“You have the keys to me?”</p><p>She looks over at Buck and he shrugs wearily. “She’s okay, Eddie,” she says. “Lena is okay.”</p><p>Eddie leans his head back against the pillows and sighs, eyes falling closed. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Next, I saw the three and seven in the tens place—” Nathaniel is interrupted by the door swinging open and crashing into the wall; Ana looks up, ready to ask whichever student walking in to please try again only to see Buck standing there, bag over his shoulder and keys clutched in his hand. </p><p>“Continue, please, and if I’m not back before the next problem, Sofia may demostrate how to solve it,” she says, and hurries to push Buck out into the hallway. “What happened?”</p><p>“I got a call from the hospital,” he says, “Eddie was brought in with a burn on his arm, they think he was trying to cook—I knew it wasn’t safe to leave him home, Ana, I don’t know what else to do, I can’t not work, I already used up all my leave—”</p><p>“We’ll figure it out,” she says, grabbing his arm and squeezing. “Do you need me to take your class?”</p><p>“No, my team is splitting them,” he says. “Can you come to the house after school?”</p><p>“Of course,” she says. “I’ll put in for a sub for tomorrow, and Lena can stay with him on Friday. We’ll figure it out, Buck, I promise.”</p><p>“I don’t know how to do this,” Buck whispers. “It’s—he’s so angry all the time, I don’t—I can’t do this.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“He won’t talk,” Lena says. She leans against the wall and closes her eyes; Ana knows she’s exhausted, straight off a 24 hour shift to stay with Eddie until Buck got home. She’d insisted—out of guilt, and Ana wonders if it’s doing more harm than good. “His therapist said he’s understanding more, though.” </p><p>Ana takes her hand and pulls her in, wrapping her arms around Lena’s waist and tucking her head into her neck. “Lena,” she says, “God, please don’t be upset with me for this, but can we take a few days to ourselves? I know you want to help him but—I just need some time with you that’s not about Eddie.”</p><p>Lena’s quiet for a long moment. “My therapist said the same thing,” she says, dropping her head to rest against Ana’s. “I’m sorry, Ana. I’m trying.”</p><p>She rubs Lena’s back and presses a kiss to her collarbone. “I think you two need some space from each other,” she says. Lena and Eddie—they’re remarkably similar, stubborn to a fault, guilt complex a mile deep. “Let’s go to San Diego for Thanksgiving, we can be back by Sunday. Please?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The beach is abandoned when they ride their bikes up; Lena lets hers fall to the sand and tosses a blanket down, flinging her arms out wide as she lays down. “Come here,” she says and when Ana starts to sit down beside her, Lena grabs her by the waist and pulls her to straddle her hips.</p><p>Ana relaxes, pushing Lena’s shoulders down when she goes to sit up and leaning down to kiss her, sucking on Lena’s bottom lip until she opens her mouth. “Should have kept you in the hotel room after all,” she says, and Lena laughs against her.</p><p>“You’re the one that said we weren’t going to stare at the same four walls the whole time,” Lena teases, fingers digging into Ana’s sides and making her giggle. “I was fine with that.”</p><p>“You’re the smarter one for sure,” Ana says, and she lets her hair fall across Lena’s face and shakes her head. “Maybe you should just tie me up until I can learn to listen to you.”</p><p>“Isn’t <em>that</em> an idea,” Lena says, and the way she looks at Ana makes her blush, makes her feel the heat rise in her cheeks and between her legs. “You know,” she says, reaching for the hem of her sweater and pulling it over Ana’s head, keeping her arms trapped inside, behind her back, “if you stay <em>very</em> quiet—”</p><p>“Excuse me,” Ana says, arching an eyebrow, “but of the two of us—” she stops when Lena runs a hand up her thigh, fingers brushing against her skin softly. “Okay,” she says, swallowing when Lena presses a thumb against her. “I can do quiet.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I can bring the cookies,” Ana says, turning the volume up on the bluetooth as she pulls out of the driveway. “You can stay until the end though, right?” </p><p>She knows Buck isn’t looking forward to it, but the grade levels split after-school duties, and it’s their turn to host now. The fact that it’s the winter concert—moved up this year to a few days before break—is just adding insult to injury for both of them. It’s the one extra-curricular she’s willing to admit is not the most fun thing to sit through. </p><p>“Yeah, I can stay,” he sighs. “God, what good is an injured husband if I can’t even use him to get out of that bullshit? Sorry, Eds, no—sorry, Ana, hold on—you hungry? I’ll make spaghetti.”</p><p>Buck must have his phone on speaker, because she hears Eddie’s response clearly over the phone. “Want tacos,” he says, and a second later, she hears something shatter against the ground.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s smiling.</p><p>It’s the first time she’s seen it in months; if she didn’t know any better, she would swear nothing was wrong. Buck’s got his arm around the back of the couch, Eddie leaned up against him, fingers tapping against Buck’s thigh as they watch the animated way Christopher tells a story about a present he got from his mom. It’s just little things that give it away—the way Eddie’s fingers stiffen suddenly before relaxing, the way Christopher speaks more slowly than usual, the way Buck tilts Eddie’s chin towards him to watch his face when he adds a comment.</p><p>Eddie meets her gaze and looks towards the door. “Lena?”</p><p>“On her way,” she says when he looks at her again. “She’s bringing pie for us.”</p><p>Eddie’s gaze goes a little unfocused and then he grins. “From—mom?”</p><p>“Yeah, from her mom,” Ana says. She hesitates, working out what to say; Eddie’s been able to understand more, and she tries not to use such short, pointed sentences anymore, a difficult habit to break. “She asked her to make apple for you.” </p><p>Eddie nods and leans back against Buck, fingers resuming their tapping.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ana looks up from her desk to see her wife leaning in her doorway, stark white bandage peeking out from the sleeve of her LAFD shirt. “What happened?” she asks, pushing her chair back, meeting Lena halfway across the classroom.</p><p>“Harrison got a little enthusiastic with the axe,” Lena says, scowling. “And now I’m off work for two weeks while this heals.”</p><p>She reaches out and touches her arm gently, running her finger along the edge of the bandage. “And what about him?”</p><p>“Hopefully fired,” Lena says. “He has to go before the board, but honestly, this is the third injury he’s given us and he needs to go. Doesn’t matter, though. I know you had plans with Buck, you think you could ditch him tonight and take care of me instead?” </p><p>Ana laughs at the puppy-dog eyes Lena gives her and leans in to kiss her. “I feel like if I had offered to take care of you, you would have been offended,” she says.</p><p>“You know me well,” Lena says. “But you didn’t offer, I asked. Maybe I want to just, you know, lie back and enjoy things.”</p><p>“Oh, like you do every other night,” Ana teases, and yelps when Lena reaches around and pinches her. “I’ll text him and cancel. Meet you at home?”</p><p>“See you there,” Lena says, grinning. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I told you he’d be okay,” Ana says, nudging Buck with her shoulder, and Buck tosses an arm around her shoulders and shakes his head. </p><p>They watch Eddie and Lena for a moment, wrestling in the ocean, dunking each other and coming up spluttering, laughing; Eddie’s return to work has been long-awaited, and although it’s just desk work for now, Lena’s been telling her about how hard he works at the gym and she gets an update every morning from Buck about Eddie’s impressive speech progress, and she has a feeling he’ll be back on his team by the time spring break hits. </p><p>“I can’t believe they’re out there,” Buck says. “God, it’s fucking cold, they’re insane. What’s he trying to do, get hypothermia on top of everything? He <em>just</em> got cleared by the physical therapist—Eddie! Lena! Get out of the goddamn water!”</p><p>“They can’t hear you,” Ana says, laughing. “Are you okay with him going back to work?”</p><p>“No,” Buck says. “Not—God, it’s hard. I’ll never tell him that, don’t <em>ever</em> tell him I said that. He loves it, and I know what it’s like to want to be back out there, but I’m pretty sure I lost a good decade of life expectancy over the last eight months and I’d be happy if he decides to stay a fire marshal forever.”</p><p>“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, resting a hand on his thigh. “You know Lena will look out for him.”</p><p>Buck snorts. “You know that’s how they got into this mess in the first place,” he says. “One brain cell between the two of them.”</p><p>“Hey, that’s my wife you’re talking about,” she says, elbowing him.</p><p>“Yeah, and my dumbass husband—Eddie! I’m serious, get out of the water!—and you know I’m not wrong. They see people in trouble, they lose all common sense. Trust me, I was the same way.”</p><p>“Be nice,” she says. “But you’re right, they really should get out of the water. I’m sure Coop is done grilling by now, let’s go grab some food. You know that will entice them.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s a great idea, I’m starving,” he says, bouncing up and reaching down; she holds out her hand and lets him pull her up, wrapping an arm around his waist as they set off to where the rest of the 136 is gathered around a barbecue. “Thanks, Ana,” he says suddenly, and she feels him bend down to kiss her temple. “I don’t know what I would have done without you and Lena. Honestly.”</p><p>“We’ll always be here for you,” she says, squeezing him. “You can count on that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Will always take prompts for this verse @ <a href="http://hearteyesforbuck.tumblr.com">hearteyesforbuck</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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